Why I Hate Duke....

My hatred runs deep for Duke.  Before I get into the reasons why I hate Duke and why they suck, I will preface everything you are about to read, with the fact that I am a Tarheel fan.  (As you will see, my sports allegiance is like a blinko chip on the Price is right).

Let's start with the obvious.  Duke players are ugly.  Scientifically, Duke has probably provided evolution supporters with the greatest link that we were once monkeys....I give you Sheldon Williams.  Then we have the hygiene issue where Reddick couldn't seem to wash his back (bad hygiene and ugly fall into the same category if you ask me).  Then we have the most recent example of ugly, Nolan Smith.  Has anyone seen the movie "Enemy Mine"?  Louis Gossett, Jr. plays an alien type beast who befriends an astronaut played by Dennis Quaid.  All last season and into the beginning of this season, Smith was driving me nuts.  Not just because he pushes off every time he drives to the hoop, but he drew a striking resemblance to someone, but I couldn't think who?  I give you Louis Gossett, Jr. (the alien) and Nolan Smith:

Let's talk about Coach K, that rat bastard.  He looks like a rat.  I was convinced a week ago that no one, not even Bob Knight liked Coach K.  Coach Knight couldn't look less interested in an interview he and Coach K had, which I took as a sign that Bob Knight really didn't care too much for him.  Then this morning I was wathcing college game day and realized, Bob Knight really doesn't care for anyone.  Regardless, anyone that coaches flopping during practice is taking advantage of the game in a bad way.  Practicing taking charges is one thing, but flopping is completely different.  Why don't you try game planning and let your intelligence shine through defense schemes or offensive plays, not flopping.

Duke fans....I am almost 100% positive, that less than 10% of Duke fans in attendance at Cameron Indoor actually understand what is going on in a basketball game.  I am convinced that the jumping up and down is caused by an announcement right before tip off.  I am sure it goes something like this:   "Due to the game this evening, the library will be open an additional 3 hours tonight."  I am all for prestige and getting a great education, but you have to learn social skills as well.  99% percent of Duke fans at a game lack the desired social skill ability to function in a setting with people they do not know (this is my fact and I have no documentation supporting this number).  All the time spent in the library and playing sports leaves little time to develop social skills.  I am sure no one dates at Duke, they probably don't know how to talk to each other without using math equations or the Pythagorean Theorem.

I just don't like Duke.

Go Heels!